My Journey

Good morning!
I’ve been wanting to share my journey for a little while, and it’s taken a little while for me to feel comfortable sharing (something I'm still working on :), but given that last week was NEDAW, I think it’s time!

As you may know, I'm a student in San Francisco, going to school after finally figuring out what I wanted to do with my life- it only took 2 years and 3 different schools! :p Along with the college/university journey, I've been trying to figure out 'who I am', for lack of better words (and please excuse the cheesiness!) So far, I know I am a sister, a daughter (my family is super important to me and we're all really close), a recycler- I'm all about saving the planet!, a yoga lover, an avid 24 fan, a really bad singer (but it doesn't stop me!), and a recovering anorexic.

My story is a long one, so prepare yourselves!
I started trying to lose weight when I was 16, primarily by trying to eat more fruits and vegetables, and less heavily processed foods (Hot Pockets, sketchy cafeteria cookies, doughnuts- you get the picture). Not to say these foods are 'bad' in anyway, but I needed to learn about moderation. This pattern of eating continued until the beginning of my junior year of high school. I embarked on a mission to lose weight. I remember admiring a very emaciated girl and wanting to look like her. Not exactly sure how I ever thought it would be a good idea or even somewhat attractive, but nonetheless, I started restricting more and more. Eventually, my friends told my parents who made me see a therapist, who in turn made me see a nutritionist. I lost more weight during that time period, and eventually landed in the hospital. I gained the weight, but not the self acceptance.
I went to school in Canada in the fall of '07, and went back to my old habits of over exercising and restricting. College wasn't what I had expected. I was at a huge school and surrounded by people who had gone to school with each other for years. (I found out a bunch of the surrounding high schools just matriculate to this university). Looking back, I realize I felt alone and scared and like I wasn't ready to be an adult because I was afraid to fail.
I enrolled in community college in 2008, went back to the hospital four times, got a job at Starbucks, and stayed engaged in my ED. Finally, in the beginning of 2009, I started to try recovery, and went IP at a residential in April.
The residential I was at changed me so much and for that I am forever grateful. It took a lot of hard work, as many of you know, but it was so worth it. It was in residential that I really found my faith again. I had replaced God with the ED for so long that the ED became my idol. I made amazing friends, many of whom I am still in contact with.
I was able to go away to school, something I had been longing for, but my parents wouldn't let me because of the ED.
I am now a million times happier and fulfilled, although that's not to say I don't face challenges every day. I am living every moment of my life (not ED's!), laughing along the way, and learning to love again.